June 17 — The Wisdom of Restraint
SCRIPTURE READING:
Proverbs 25-26
SCRIPTURE:
Passage: Proverbs 25
¹ These are also proverbs of Solomon, which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied out.
² It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.
³ The heaven for height, and the earth for depth, and the heart of kings is unsearchable.
⁴ Take away the dross from the silver, and there shall come forth a vessel for the finer.
⁵ Take away the wicked from before the king, and his throne shall be established in righteousness.
⁶ Put not forth thyself in the presence of the king, and stand not in the place of great men:
⁷ For better it is that it be said unto thee, Come up hither; than that thou shouldest be put lower in the presence of the prince whom thine eyes have seen.
⁸ Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbour hath put thee to shame.
⁹ Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another:
¹⁰ Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away.
¹¹ A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
¹² As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.
¹³ As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, so is a faithful messenger to them that send him: for he refresheth the soul of his masters.
¹⁴ Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain.
¹⁵ By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.
¹⁶ Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it.
¹⁷ Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.
¹⁸ A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.
¹⁹ Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint.
²⁰ As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart.
²¹ If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
²² For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.
²³ The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.
²⁴ It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
²⁵ As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
²⁶ A righteous man falling down before the wicked is as a troubled fountain, and a corrupt spring.
²⁷ It is not good to eat much honey: so for men to search their own glory is not glory.
²⁸ He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Passage: Proverbs 26
¹ As snow in summer, and as rain in harvest, so honour is not seemly for a fool.
² As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come.
³ A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.
⁴ Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.
⁵ Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.
⁶ He that sendeth a message by the hand of a fool cutteth off the feet, and drinketh damage.
⁷ The legs of the lame are not equal: so is a parable in the mouth of fools.
⁸ As he that bindeth a stone in a sling, so is he that giveth honour to a fool.
⁹ As a thorn goeth up into the hand of a drunkard, so is a parable in the mouths of fools.
¹⁰ The great God that formed all things both rewardeth the fool, and rewardeth transgressors.
¹¹ As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
¹² Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him.
¹³ The slothful man saith, There is a lion in the way; a lion is in the streets.
¹⁴ As the door turneth upon his hinges, so doth the slothful upon his bed.
¹⁵ The slothful hideth his hand in his bosom; it grieveth him to bring it again to his mouth.
¹⁶ The sluggard is wiser in his own conceit than seven men that can render a reason.
¹⁷ He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.
¹⁸ As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death,
¹⁹ So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?
²⁰ Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.
²¹ As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.
²² The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
²³ Burning lips and a wicked heart are like a potsherd covered with silver dross.
²⁴ He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him;
²⁵ When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven abominations in his heart.
²⁶ Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed before the whole congregation.
²⁷ Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him.
²⁸ A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.
DEVOTIONAL:
Proverbs 25 tells us that these sayings were gathered and copied in the days of Hezekiah. That detail matters because it reminds us that wisdom is meant to be preserved and passed on. God’s people are not only commanded to obey; they are commanded to remember. These chapters feel like field-tested instruction for living among neighbors, rulers, fools, and enemies without losing your soul.
A major theme is restraint. Wisdom knows when to speak and when to stay quiet, when to confront and when to step back. Proverbs warns against meddling in strife that does not belong to you, and it cautions against the pride that rushes into honor. It also urges patience with rulers, showing that strength is not always loud. Restraint is not cowardice; it is disciplined love that refuses to be driven by ego.
Proverbs 26 deals directly with folly, and it is almost humorous in how it exposes it. A fool repeats patterns like a dog returning to vomit, which is disgusting because folly is disgusting. Yet wisdom must still engage reality. Proverbs shows that you cannot treat every fool the same way, because timing and context matter. Wisdom is neither naive nor cynical; it is alert to the way sin distorts conversation.
One of the most striking commands in Proverbs 25 is to feed your enemy when he is hungry. That is wisdom that looks like weakness until you realize it is rooted in trust. You can do good to an enemy because God is Judge, and because you are not responsible to manufacture vengeance. This is covenant ethics that anticipate the New Testament’s call to overcome evil with good.
Jesus embodies this restraint and this mercy. He could have called down judgment, but He chose the cross. He spoke truth without panic, and He loved enemies without pretending evil was good. In Him, restraint becomes a fruit of the Spirit rather than a mere personality style. The gospel frees us from the need to win every exchange, because our identity is secured in Christ.
In daily life, practice restraint with your tongue and with your reactions. Refuse the addictive rush of jumping into every argument, and learn to leave room for God to work. In your family, let patience be part of your leadership. In church relationships, deal with conflict honestly, but do not become a collector of quarrels. Wisdom is often quieter than pride.
In U.S. civic life, the virtue of moderation can keep communities from tearing themselves apart. Pray for public conversations to become more honest and less combustible, and pray for leaders to resist manipulation by outrage. Christians should show up as people who do good even to opponents, refusing vengeance and practicing neighbor-love with steady courage.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
How do Proverbs 25-26 describe restraint as a form of strength rather than passivity?
What does feeding an enemy require you to believe about God and about justice?
How can you tell the difference between wise restraint and sinful avoidance?
Where do you most need the Spirit to help you stop “meddling” in strife that does not belong to you?
PRAYER:
ADORATION:
LORD, You are wise and just, slow to anger and mighty in power. You see every heart, and You judge with perfect righteousness.
CONFESSION:
I confess my impatience and my craving to be right in the eyes of others. I have rushed into quarrels and spoken without restraint. Forgive me and teach me wisdom.
THANKSGIVING:
Thank You that You are Judge and that I do not have to carry vengeance. Thank You for Jesus, who loved His enemies and gives His Spirit to form restraint in us.
SUPPLICATION – GENERAL:
Train my tongue and temper. Give me discernment about when to speak and when to stay quiet. Teach me to do good even when it is not returned, and make my home and church life marked by peace.
SUPPLICATION – U.S. / CIVIC:
Lower the temperature of our public life. Grant wisdom to leaders, citizens, and media to resist outrage and to pursue truthful dialogue. Make Christians recognizable by patient restraint and active kindness toward neighbors and opponents alike.
SCRIPTURE: If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: Proverbs 25:21